Mr. Rei's Ninja Gaiden Review
posted at 11:00 PM on Saturday, March 20th, 2004
It's easy to say that you can improve anything by adding Ninjas to it. Why, even the tedium of your office workplace can be improved by a well-placed Ninja! Ninja Gaiden is a game based mostly on the series for the Nintendo, (and if you were really lucky and found one of the 6 copies to exist, the Super Nintendo), mostly only sharing the name of the protagonist, some weapons, and the very concept of the Ninja. Enter Tomonobu Itagaki, head of Tecmos Team Ninja and professional "mack daddy". The man has such an attitude as to be likened to a succesful, asian Derek Smart, famous for trashing everything from other consoles to entire fighting game series in various interviews. He's also singlehandedly responsible for setting the Console Gaming industry back 3 years in terms of maturity and credibility; in fact, the original Dead or Alive was recently named one of gaming's most notoriously controversial titles. The man likes to cause trouble, but my god, can he make a good-looking game.
Enough links for now, let us begin with the discussion of Ninja Gaiden.
Ryu Hayabusa is the persona you assume, the son of the head of the Dragon clan. He sets off one day to visit an old friend, like most games this is accomplished by brutally slaughtering everyone in your path when you get there. They never specify why you decapitate 450 of this mans Ninja followers in his own home and then kick the crap out of him even though you're apparently on good terms with the guy. Naturally the decision to leave your home for half an hour coincides with the total and complete annihilation of it by the Vigoor Empire, who have come to retrieve an ancient, destructive sword. Your entire clan is slaughtered and you are SLICED IN HALF and left for dead by the evil Vigoor general, Doku. One bird and a (badass) wardrobe change later, you set out to take on this entire empire all by yourself. The story for the most part is rather secondary to the game, it is simply a means to go around lopping the heads off of various soldiers and Ninjas. The story itself is shown through really beautiful and detailed FMV movies that are kind of like little treats after fracturing your skull by slamming the X-Box controller into your forehead out of sheer frustration.
I've spent the last several days infatuated with this game. It's become something of an abusive relationship to me; I'll play a bit, i'll walk away with wounded pride. Only to be dragged back an hour or two later to continue playing. It's games like this that remind me how dependant i've become on the safety crutches of todays games. Because even with these crutches (frequent save points, infinite lives, etc.), this game keeps kicking the shit out of me. Have I just lost my touch? My youth was nothing but Tetris and various twitch-based shooters! But this game is the most challenging thing I've picked up in years. This game has added a new dent in the wall next to my bed where I sit playing video games. (I forget what caused the other 2, I think it was something on the original Playstation.)
The fighting system is smooth like silk and feels twice as good on your fingers. It's like a fighting game in and of itself where each weapon has it's own roster of special moves and attacks, and what a roster each one is. Each weapon is unique and special, and serves a purpose. (Except for the Speargun.. Which barely gets any use except for when you go underwater.) Every enemy, even the most basic grunt has his own unique attacks and moves. There is no scripted movement, enemies will change and alter their strategy depending on what you do. And they will use every cheap fucking trick in the book to kill you, Samurai Horsemen will drag you around the stage by their spears before tossing you into a wall, Mages will teleport 2 inches away from you before giving you a short and painful introduction to the finer points of sword-based accupuncture, soldiers will grab you from behind and slit your throat. Boss fights get even more ridiculous, as they are not only smarter and more devious, but most of the time come with some sort of backup of the assholes you just spent the entire stage screaming at. The first boss will teach you to be faster on your feet by standing on your back and whipping you a few times with his Nunchaku.
You need to master every aspect of this game in order to beat it. People who think that button-mashing is an acceptable from of playstyle will find themselves in tears over just how badly their having their asses handed to them. Players will have to learn how to run up and across walls, use every weapon they get to their full potential and dodge and block attacks. Samurai Horsemen can be dismounted easily with 2 well-placed Arrows, shuriken can be used to stun enemies, the Vigoorian Flail can be used to cut Vigoor Fiends into lovely paper doll-designs. This is the kind of game where you want to constantly remember where save points are and visit them often. It may suprise you, if you think about it, how short some levels actually are. The games length comes from the learning process, which somehow never grows old as fast as you expect. Every now and then you learn enough to progress further and you are rewarded with a nice little cutscene followed by a change of venue and enemies who know how to kill you in a few more different ways. As you progress you pick up Ninpo attacks, the standard Ninja Gaiden "Keep me from dying" move, usually consisting of fireballs or lightning.
The levels themselves are really quite beautiful, lush forests and dank caves, huge imperial cities and a zeppelin travelling through a heavy rainstorm while under siege. All levels are crafted quite exquisitely and treated like the lovely members of the female persuasion that Team Ninja has never, nor will ever know. Character animations are very well done, as if actual Ninjas had been motion captured, which is prepostorous, as we all know that no Ninja would lower himself to be covered in tiny reflective-taped foam balls. Enemies are varied and well-designed, as well are the games weapons and items.
However this game is not perfect, one beef i have with this game is that the game never really decides whether cutscenes are or are not required viewing. Some you can skip, others.. Not so much. When you're trying to replay a stage for the 4th time and have to sit through that damn shot of Ryu looking out a window as several soldiers bust in, it gets tedious. Others you have to mash some buttons to communicate that you've seen Ryu walk up to his friend 56 times already. They delayed the game to fix the camera, but it's still obvious that the camera system needs a bit of work. Sometimes you find yourself just stabbing at the edge of the screen, not NEARLY as bad as it was in the demo, though. With a fighting system so unique, it cries OUT for multiplayer. You find yourself wanting to perform all these crazy moves and techniques on other people, but all you get is the 'Ultimate Ninja Tournament'. This is, and let's face it, Scoreboards. You upload your best time when you beat the game, top times get to download special weapons and items. (That LAST part was inferred by an interview, do not take my word on it.) It is Live Aware, so people playing Project Gotham 2 can go "Fuck, Rei is playing Ninja Gaiden again, expect a lot of profanity when he logs onto Links 2004 later tonight.".
If you are patient, and can stand a few self-inflicted controller smashings to the face, you want this game. If you played Dead or Alive X-Treme Beach Volleyball and said "Hmm. Not enough Ninjas.", you want this game. If you, like me, shot Diet Pepsi out your nose when reading that Onion article at the beginning, you WANT this game.
Now if you don't mind, it's time to replay this game on Hard mode. Because I think I hate myself.
Gameplay 5/5
Such a deep and rewarding combat system, you'll cheer upon beating a particularly hard area.
Aesthetics 4/5
Very well-crafted game, but that motherfucking camera is the greatest villain of all.
Sounds 4/5
There was music? It becomes white noise in this game.
Value 3/5
There are unlockables and whatnot, but nothing earth-shattering. 'Live Support' is shit.
The Verdict 4.5/5
Ninja Gaiden: The game that rapes your thumbs.
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