Mr. Carnage's Beetle Buggin Review
posted at 3:55 AM on Sunday, July 16, 2000
Introduction
| Developed by: |
| Infogrames (www.us.infogrames.com) |
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| System Requirements: |
| Windows 95/98, Pentium 200 (Pentium II 233 w/o 3D card), 32 MB RAM, 350 MB HD space, DirectX 7.0a |
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| Reviewed Using: |
| Windows 98SE, AMD Athlon 700, Hercules 3D Prophet DDR, 128 MB RAM, 22 GB HD Space, SB Live! Value |
Have you ever wanted to race retro Volkswagens in a variety of different tracks and events? If so, then The Corporation can help you find a licensed psychiatrist. But until your first appointment, Infogrames has been kind enough to offer a cutesy game that also serves to show that your lifelong dream is only somewhat fulfilling: Beetle Buggin'.
The Game
Beetle Buggin' offers five different gameplay modes for your Volkswagen-loving pleasure. The most basic is called Speed, and it's like any racing game that's out there. You race around a looped track for a set number of laps and try to be the first to cross the finish line. Nitro boosters are also at your disposal.
Similar to Speed is Buggy. The only difference is that you're driving VW buggies instead of Beetles and the tracks consist of both asphalt and sand (and water if you're that bad of a driver... I won't comment as to my driving skills).
Cross mode features racing on dirt tracks, and is one of the more boring gameplay modes.
Jump mode features -- yep, you guessed it -- a jump ramp over which you launch pitiful Beetles. This is probably the stupidest gameplay mode there is, just because of the fact that you nitro boost VW Beetles over a huge ramp and expect to get the required distance. I mean, c'mon... do you really expect the oh-so aerodynamic Beetle to go over 80 yards in a jump?
No.
The last mode is Monster, in which you race VW monster trucks against the clock in obstacle-filled mud tracks. Now, does something in that last sentence not make sense? Oh, yeah, that's right. VW MONSTER TRUCKS. What the hell is that supposed to be? Has anyone ever heard of a VW monster truck? It’s actually one of those old ugly old VW vans that reminds me of an oversized lump of feces on huge monster truck tires. Who’d’ve thunk it? Anyway, the premise of Monster seems simple enough, but this is easily the most annoying of the five modes of play. Maneuvering your monster truck is hard enough as it is, but you’ve also got to make your way through obstacles like pile cones and hitting each one penalizes you 5 seconds off the remaining time. You can see what a pain in the ass it is. I had about as much fun playing this as I had getting a root canal. Without general anesthesia.
There are 3 general game modes with which to play the 5 gameplay modes. Quick Race is a single play in your pick of the 5 games. Championship Mode consists of the 3 race modes – Speed, Buggy and Cross. Gain points in each race and have the most at the end. Simple enough.
The last mode is the Beetle Challenge, in which you have to compete in all 5 modes in 5 difficulty settings in 3 leagues (whuzzah?). Advancing from The Challenge (the first league) takes you on to the World Beetle Cup, and after you master that you go on to the Super New Beetle Challenge. While doing all this you accumulate points which let you get more and better cars, including 12 different flavors of Beetle, The Thing, and the Karmann Ghia. There are enough Volkswagens in this game to make you vomit avocado. Or was that the guacamole flavored Powerbar…
One thing about Beetle Buggin’ that really bugged (pun not intended unless puns offend you – sensitive freaks!) me is the realism, or lack thereof. I mean, the way the Beetles handle in this game is purely fake. Think for a second – these are the crappy ‘60s Beetles, not the new ones. These cars obviously can NOT make turns on a dime at 100+ MPH. The physics is totally off, too. Usually if you hit the nose of your car into the back side tire of another, it’ll spin out. Try it in this game and nothing happens. It’s stupid. And the worst part of all is when you hit a wall or the barrier on the side of the road. Wanna take guess at what happens? You BOUNCE OFF. Yes, that’s right, Infogrames purposefully made cement barriers and walls rubbery just so you can experience the real retro Volkswagen experience.
Graphics
Visuals in Beetle Buggin’ are pretty good overall. Infogrames has done well to ensure that a good amount of detail was put into every VW vehicle, and it shows. You’ll see near-exact replicas of the Karmann Ghia, The Thing, and of course, the Beetle. Those VW vans look like large POS's too, so that was done right.
Scenery is for the most part very nice. From beach fronts to country meadows to indoor dirt tracks, it was all visually pleasing. Graphics are top-notch all around.
Sound
Why, Infogrames, why? Why do you make me suffer by listening to horrible surf music while I’m bouncing Beetles off cement walls? Surf music, in and out, out and in. It’s pure crap and it’s completely overdone. It’s bad enough with the gameplay and bad physics modeling, but when you have to go through that and listen to the surf music, it’ll just make you want to stick your ears in a blender and press ‘liquify’.
Conclusion
Beetle Buggin’ is not a ‘great’ racing game. It can be a ‘decent’ racing game, possibly even ‘pretty good.’ The gameplay isn’t all that, but not much can be taken away from it, as it still is a racing game, and… at least the ‘racing’ element is still there. However, if you can bear the awful surf music and non-realistic physics, you still might have some fun with this title. That is, of course, if you’re okay with VW poop-van monster trucks.
Gameplay – 2/5
Racing modes are pretty good, but Jump is stupid and driving VW poop-van monster trucks just isn’t my cup of tea. Physics and realism are horrible.
Graphics – 4/5
Retro VWs are rendered beautifully. So is the scenery. Van rendered in poopy 3D goodness.
Sound – 2/5
Awful surf music isn’t bearable by any means. The only good thing was that Infogrames decided not to make a CD soundtrack out of it.
Value – 3.5/5
At $19.95, Beetle Buggin’ is pretty decent as a racing game and a damn good value, but don’t expect it to last on your hard drive for very long if you do decide to get it.
the Verdict – 3/5
If you want to launch nitro-boosted Beetles off a jump ramp for cheap thrills, you could try Beetle Buggin’. But if you want the real Beetle experience, I recommend Microsoft’s Midtown Madness.
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