From Lum, who got it via Abalieno's plaintive cry for help, comes the saddest thing I've seen since at least Tuesday.
You know, I thought we settled this crap the first time. Don't you people learn your lessons?
Christ, where to begin? Do you want to know why people on the internet, men especially, think there are no girls on the internet? Do you want to know the big fucking secret about the skepticism? Do you seek enlightenment?
It's because I can't go five fucking minutes online without some assgrabbing marketing genius trying to convince me REAL LIVE STREAMING XXX GIRLS WANT ME NOW (NSFW, but not even in an interesting way). It's because the internet is made for porn (worksafe), because every barely literate ego cripple with a half decent pair of floatation devices and a basic knowledge of style sheets wants to turn a virtual trick instead of getting a fucking job (neither worksafe nor intellect-safe), because even your fellow gamers are trying to convince you they're chicks (last question) so they can get free shit (hi, Alex!). Being a heterosexual male on the internet feels vaguely oppressive these days, like I'm living in some strange Orwellian curry-induced nightmare where Big Brother only wants to sell me porn and viagra.
I believe there are girls on the internet, in the same way I believe in black holes- they are an intellectual concept, backed up by evidence I'm told is quite reliable. Getting too close to either in a more practical sort of way involves crushing gravitational forces and your complete annihilations as a human being, though, so I prefer to avoid them entirely.
As for the naked Counter-Strike girls- as the least mature internet community since these guys (neither work, nor brain-safe), the majority of whom have the disposable income of a Chinese migrant worker- could you possibly aim any lower, or set yourself up for a bigger headache? I can see tits literally everywhere on the internet, to the point where I don't even know what to hyperlink here. Granted, you're a bunch of pathetic assholes operating not even under the guise of high-mindedness, but the rubric of some concept that once met a high-minded idea and shook hands with it, but the idea was embarrassed afterwards and had his PR department erase all the photos. But still, even assholes can be redeemed.
So: stop now. Clothe your whores and burn your servers, and never look back. Down this road lies only madness, and very little profit.
Choose wisely, shit-weasels.
