Original Archive Date: May 2004
 Monday Morning Developer Memorial Day Edition
Posted Monday, May 31, 2004 by Mr. GBob
Great moments in Monday Morning Quarterbacking. The year is 1864. Leutnant George Heinrich Rudolf Johann von Reisswitz of the Prussian Guard Artillery takes a tactical board game his father used to nitpick the obvious failings of Napoleon and introduces the princes of Prussia to the first real war game…a genre that would occupy many a lonely teenagers Saturday night until the advent of Dungeons and Dragons. In this we owe a great debt those Monday Morning Developers who came before us.
Today we talk about Elvis, World War 2 and look at another game we hate!
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 SOE Says "Maybe that expansion WAS a little too soon"...
Posted Wednesday, May 26, 2004 by Mr. Poppinfresh
A guest submission from Merusk, culled from our forums:
If you haven't been under a rock, you know SOE is set to release yet another EQ expansion in July. Rather, as of a few hours ago they WERE going to. As you can see this date has been pushed-back to address what SOE calls 'some concerns'.
Top-tier guilds like Afterlife have been atrophying members on all servers in the past few months. WoW is looking more and more attractive as the sweet cooing of pleased fanboys and guildmembers reach players ears. Then, only 4 months after releasing an expansion that is unplayable by 4/5s of the playerbase due to lack of equipment to survive the encounters, SOE announced the next expansion. Most players were less than pleased.
Smed is, in typical corporate fashion underplaying the disgruntlement of his playerbase. To call them 'some concerns' is either really underselling it or hows how completly out of touch he is. The unhappy, unfinished berserker class has been ignored for it's entire exsistence. Al'Kabor the EQ-Mac server, it was recently announced, will not be getting any patches, EVER, since it seems they can't find anyone willing to work for them to program and do buf fixes.
Things have gotten so ugly that even fan webcomics are starting to come around to the idea that SOE is the debil. And were organinzing boycotts just hours before Smed posted his "oh, maybe somethin's wrong, wanna talk?"
I did find it interesting that Smed took it seriously enough to call the guy up and invite him to this upcoming "player concerns" roundtable, AND pay for his plane ticket.
Any thoughts? Is this EQ truly trying to change it's direction and be a good spouse, or just the 8-karat necklace before the next drunken beating?
Keep it coming.
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Monday Morning Developer - May 24th
Posted Monday, May 24, 2004 by Mr. GBob
The Monday Morning Developer
In every activity mankind has ever engaged in, there has been the Monday Morning Quarterback. Tens of thousands of years ago this brave individual stood forth and bravely stated that Zug was a knucklehead for making a fire with flint. The dumb bastard should have used two sticks and then he wouldn’t have banged his finger up. Today his spirit lives on in the heart of the teeming masses of gamers who make up the Monday Morning Developer.
Today we talk about sex, money and Ultima. ---
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E3 Part 2: Ubisoft Causes Cancer
Posted Friday, May 21, 2004 by Mr. Poppinfresh
Leaving our NCSoft appointment for the Sony one was a study in contrasts. NCSoft's private demos are held upstairs, in a discreet little room; SOE puts a giant booth in the middle of the showroom floor, then builds a wall with a moat and guard dogs and angry men with tazers to keep everyone out. NCSoft was filled with polite, competent, funny, attentive devs and PR people; our PR contact at Sony plunked us down in front of the screen playing the EQ2 demo like a harried welfare mom using the Teletubbies to babysit her eight kids.
More importantly, NCSoft had a lot of cool stuff to show. SOE had Everquest 2, which looked about as much fun as having an octogenarian Burmese whore play your urethra like a cheap trombone. ---
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 E3 Wrapup Del Rasputin
Posted Tuesday, May 18, 2004 by Mr. Rasputin
So I'm sitting here waiting for my departing flight to Philly and watching Six Feet Under, trying to catch up to where they'll be this season. It's the porn star episode. Pretty funny stuff.
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 E3: Those Filthy Console Games
Posted Tuesday, May 18, 2004 by Mr. Rei
Brought to you by the only Corpnews member who didnt spend E3 in an alcohol-fueled haze.
I arrived in LA on the 9th, I spent a few days taking in the city and getting accquainted with the locale and basically just hung out with some family who lives there and visited some shopping malls. Unfortunately I forgot my GBA charger and the phone numbers of every Corp member who would be attending. Fuck. They don't have computers where I was staying basically during my entire trip if I was to see anyone from Corp it was going to be by a stroke of luck.
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 The E3 Post-Mortem Rant: Because Studying for Finals is Boring.
Posted Monday, May 17, 2004 by Mr. Mako
I still can't quite believe I made it out of there alive. Several dozen ninja-logo postcards were dropped off in promising vendors' hands. I still dream chilling nightmares about boothbabes. My bag of press kits and miscellaneous swag somehow contains a 90% full handle of Bacardi courtesy of a forgetful Mr. Anarch. Life is good.
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Monday Morning Developer
Posted Monday, May 17, 2004 by Mr. GBob
Is there any man more wise than the sports fan who on Monday morning reads the sports page, shaking his head sadly at the ignorant coaches who lost the game for their team. Of course they shouldn’t have gone for a play action fake on the third down! The fools. The terrible fools. If only they had the wisdom of the Monday Morning Quarterback to lead them to victory. ---
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E3 Part One: One Great Big Festering Neon Distraction...
Posted Monday, May 17, 2004 by Mr. Poppinfresh
I'm actually beginning to get used to the pattern and flow of E3, my intense hatred for it all having in a way come full circle into a kind of calm, Zen acceptance. Sure, this year I knew I'd be violated in a whole new orifice by the fine city of Los Angeles, which had decided by vote of committee that my anus was no longer exotic and painful enough to pound like a Botswanan sailor on three-day leave in Thailand, and had instead taken up the cause of inventing a new warm crevice to plunder. No, that's a given; I've realized that if I'm still going for Year #6, there's probably a reason why, and that I just needed to roll with the punches.
My method of arrival doesn't need much explanation: I drove down in a car from Seattle to L.A., driven by anarch. Use your imaginations, they're probably accurate. ---
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E3 Thursday Update Type Thing
Posted Friday, May 14, 2004 by Mr. Rasputin
Apologies. The influx of people in the show this year saturated the wireless and the pipe so badly as to make it impossible to actually get any god-damned posts up or upload pictures because the wireless would need to be hammered on until it bled, and the pipe would drop every 5th or 10th packet at its leisure.
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Mako's Update
Posted Friday, May 14, 2004 by Mr. Rasputin
Don't mind me, Mako's currently flying across the country back to his finals, so I'll post this for him.
Los Angeles is the sort of city everybody would be happy to see suddenly replaced by a smoldering crater. From the exorbitant gas prices that hurt even to look at to the abundance of low-rent taquerias, this is the only city that could possibly be improved by the addition of several thousand sweaty nerds and industry professionals experienced in the seduction of said nerds. I dislike Los Angeles.
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I Can't Feel My Face
Posted Wednesday, May 12, 2004 by Mr. Poppinfresh
Listen, children, and I'll tell you a story; a fine, springy tale of three parties with free open bars.
Oh my good god.
As near as I can recollect, shortly after Rasputin posted his update we left the Nokia party and met Mako out front.
"Wow, you guys are drunk. Let's hurry up and get to the next party so I can catch up."
And catch up he did. I vaguely recollect stumbling around downtown L.A., trying to pick up a prone Mako from the side of a trash-strewn street while the ever-jovial LAPD looked on. Any comment addressed to him, including "Let's get something to drink" was rebutted with "SILENCE!"
So about par for the course.
Quoth Mako him next morning after vomiting on my luggage: "I got out of the cab and went from sober to hammered in thirty minutes. Ow."
Conversation as I catch him chunking up on my passport:
"Did you just puke on my bag?"
"YUP!"
"Fuck you."
"SILENCE!"
So we made "SILENCE!" his media badge title. It seemed appropriate.
Pictures to come when we remember how electricity works again. ---
E3 Drunken Nokia Update
Posted Tuesday, May 11, 2004 by Mr. Rasputin
So yeah. Lots of free drinks. LOTS. Good vodka good daddy loves you. Nokia's new NGage shit includes fucking RIFTS motherfucker. RIFTS. Do you UNDERSTAND? This is the FIRST RIFTS COMPUTER GAME. ---
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 Guildwars E3 Demo is Active
Posted Monday, May 10, 2004 by Mr. Ray
Grab it here
I've been playing around with it for about an hour, and so far I can report that it looks not horrible. The graphics are great, it's very smooth feeling, and the PvP isn't horrible. Give it a try at least, but remember: it's an early beta client.
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E3: Like Fun, Only Not
Posted Monday, May 10, 2004 by Mr. Poppinfresh
The Corp staff are departing for E3 starting tomorrow morning. Those of you who will be attending and wish to contact us should e-mail me; for the rest of you, expect much tasty coverage over the coming days.
And remember: alcohol makes everything seem cooler. Don't trust a word we say. We liked fucking Horizons last time around. ---
 Come ye rakes, come ye scoundrels. Ready your blackjacks and water arrows, etc.
Posted Thursday, May 6, 2004 by Mr. Drizzle
Thief 3, also known as Thief: Deadly Shadows, has gone gold. It's set to ship on May 25th. Yahoo has the full press release, if you wish to read it, click below.
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 DELAY OF GAME
Posted Monday, May 3, 2004 by Mr. StackedMidgets
Early EQ2 beta signups began today at 1 PM EST...
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