Original Archive Date: February 2004
 Midway Now Offers Classic Games Online... RAMPAGE, HERE I COME!
Posted Friday, February 27, 2004 by Mr. Hambone
For those of you who still remember the 80’s, Midway was offered a link where all can come and enjoy some of those classic gems that lured so many of us into the gaming, and generally a closeted, geek lifestyle. As of right now they offer Bubbles, Defender, Defender II, Joust, Rampage, Robotron 2084, Satan’s Hollow, Sinistar, Spy Hunter, and Tapper. So, for those of you who have ample time at work, and the rest of us who just sit around in front of our computers all day, methinks its time to take a trip down memory lane.
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 To [H]ard OCP, Thanks for Everything! Infinium Labs
Posted Friday, February 20, 2004 by Mr. Finnegan
Just when you think that broadband beauty of a console called the Phantom has truly begun to live up to it's name, it's creator, Infinium Labs, has risen from it's slumber to sue the hardware news and reviews website HardOCP over an article that paints the company in a questionable light.
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 My Midi-chlorians Bring All the Boys to the Yard
Posted Wednesday, February 18, 2004 by Miss Megyn
Yes, I have once again started playing Star Wars: Galaxies. Despite not being a particular fan of the treadmill, or the Star Wars franchise for that matter, somewhere along the lines my initial repulsion turned into something that could somehow be construed as enjoyment. And unfortunately, after the utter decimation of my main character, and grinding through several less-than-enjoyable skills, I’ve unlocked my bloody force sensitive slot.
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 Finally A Reason For Shadowbane
Posted Saturday, February 14, 2004 by Mr. Galt
Here at corporate headquarters, the kind folks in our Department of Superstition, Astrology and Nuclear Physics like to keep us all informed by sending around a weekly memo they call, “Portents of Evil and the End of the World.” Most of the contents of the missive are generally pretty mundane: the location of Hoffa’s body (blame Poppinfresh), film of the JFK assassination taken from the grassy knoll (ditto, Poppinfresh), and a regular editorial on “How you can help maintain the Illuminati global shadow government (ask Poppinfresh). On this week’s issue, there was a self quiz asking “Is the End of the World Nigh?”, and I decided to take it, just to see how I’d do. I mean, after all, the likelihood of the world balancing on the knife edge of apocalypse is so infinitesimally small, that I originally did it for my own amusement. The results made my blood run cold, and I’ve reproduced them here, along with my answers, for your edification.
1. Has The Corporation resumed its day-to-day reeducation programming of the masses via the internet, and other sundry media sources? Yes No
2. Is there currently a federal investigation regarding Janet Jackson’s nipple? Yes No
3. Are there currently four metaphorical horsemen traipsing around the globe spreading death in their wake? Yes No
4. Are the horsemen currently on union break? Yes No
5. Is there a group of individuals who find it sexually gratifying to fornicate while dressed up as various animals? Yes No
6. Did the Yankees lose the World Series Yes No
7. Is George W. Bush President of the United States? Yes No
8. Is Dick Cheney President of the United States? Yes No
9. Are members of the Masonic Order plotting your death? Yes No
10. Is Somebob out of his restraints again? Yes No
At the bottom of the quiz, they had a handy little chart, which told you the status of the world after you tallied up your answers. I came up with this result:
If you answered YES to 8-10 of these questions you may be an alcoholic.
No, wait. Wrong quiz. Here it is.
If you answered YES to 8-10 of these questions, you’re pretty much fucked. Embrace oblivion and realize that your grotesque, mutated descendants will likely be living in vaults scattered across the earth – if they are lucky.
So, once we here at the corporation realized that we were pretty much doomed, and that our far-reaching technological hegemony over the known world couldn’t save us, we did what any rational group of upper-level drones in a corporate environment would do – we started up a guild on Shadowbane on the Vengeance server.
And here, dear reader, is how all of this is relevant to you
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 Strangest log-in moment ever: Oh Shit, I'm Dead.
Posted Friday, February 6, 2004 by Somebob
Now I've played quite a lot of online games with their fair shares of troubles, but this message I got while attempting to log into A Tale in the Desert yesterday is by far the strangest and most oddly hilarious I've ever seen:
Dead. In a game that has NO combat, NO monsters, and not even a wild boar to threaten me, I still manage to die. It gets even more surreal...---
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