h0w to r0x0rz in d00d sp34k!!1!2@1!
By Mr. Kenickie - 4:34 AM on Saturday, July 29, 2000
d0nt b3 a v1ct1m
As with death, taxes, and being preferred as "just a friend", meeting up with another d00d sp34kah is inevitable. You will be tested at your l33tn3ss and how well you handle under pressure, so you'll want to be prepared for what's to come. Below you will find the Official Mr. Kenickie Guidelines to preventing a d00d sp34kah from killing your game:
Remember that your opponent is playing mind tricks on you--don't let them affect you.Do not get into an argument with this person. Stay focused on your game.Ask a lot of questions that will spark a response to keep his focus on the conversation and not the game.Never answer questions.Never break the timing guidelines mentioned above.Don't carry the conversation outside of the game. That will only prevent you from staying focused on your next match.Don't take anything he says personally--he's just trying to piss you off.Don't get emotionally involved because you will screw up more and stop having fun.Become accustomed to d00d sp34k so you don't need to waste any concentration or energy reading the text.Don't accept any offer to view images of him in a variety of provocative poses. Trust me on this one.
A good d00d sp34kah will know these guidelines as well, so be sure to tempt your opponent to break them as often as possible. Once you can get him to make one mistake, each progressive step will become easier and easier. Likewise, if you do happen to make a mistake, don't dwell on it because you want your focus on the game, not what's going on outside the game. If need be, abandon all d00d sp34k and simply stop talking--your opponent will eventually do the same. Whatever you do: DON'T BE A VICTIM.
c0nClusi0n
d00d sp34k can be a very effective tool to help you gain that extra mental edge that is so important to have in computer games. If you can get your opponent to get frustrated at you, you can then use that frustration to your advantage. Remember, young Anakin, frustration leads to mistakes, mistakes lead to distraction, distraction leads to SUFFERING.
s0, wh0s uP f0r a g4m3 of st4cr4fT?!?!???!/1//1
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