In the beginning there was nothing. Then, The Corporation hired God. God created the light, and separated it from the darkness. At this point, we knew there was going to be trouble. We had problems with God from the very beginning. Every project was either completed late, over budget, or not up to specifications. For details, see God’s Employee Evaluation Forms. [Creation – 3000 B.C.] (Available Soon!) [3000 B.C. – 2000 B.C.] (Available Soon!) [2000 B.C. – Termination] (Available Soon!) The depression of 1137 B.C. led The Corporation to make a few tough decisions about where the company was headed, and how we would get there. Costs had to be cut, and that meant the painful, yet inevitable, layoffs. God was among the first to be let go. He promptly sued us, as "an abomination in the eyes of the Lord," and for "an egregious breach of His law." (The lawsuit was settled out of court in 799 B.C.) The Corporation, 1137 B.C. – 1999 A.D. Though difficult and at times disheartening, the depression of 1137 B.C. strengthened The Corporation in ways we never thought possible. Since then, it has been success after success after success. Here is a brief list of our major accomplishments since 1137 B.C. 1136 B.C. – Replaced the God’s Will system with physics, ver. 1.0. 1124 B.C. – Upgraded the universe from two-dimensional to three-dimensional. 1123 B.C. – Upgraded the universe to four-dimensional. The Fourth Dimension(TM) has not yet been opened to the public. 1008 B.C. – Signed on first major freelance terrorist organization. 984 B.C. – Replaced God’s Creation model with genetics, ver. 1.0. 799 B.C. – Lawsuit with God settled out of court 798 B.C. – Dinosaurs bones planted around the world 798 B.C. – Updated to genetics 1.1 with the additions of "Natural Selection: Survival of the Fittest" and "Mutation!" ("From Monkeys to Man: The Missing Link" expansion pack not implemented due to settlement with God.) 502 B.C – Founded Mayhem, Inc. 320 B.C. – Instituted plate-techtonics. 721 B.C. – Terrorist division shut down. 999 A.D. – Prevented the Biblical Apocalypse. 1288 A.D. – Terrorist division shut down for real this time. 1491 A.D. – Created the New World. 1734 A.D. – Founded Corporation Gaming News 1822 A.D. – Invented the cotton gin and the concept of interchangable parts. 1828 A.D. – Put first man on the moon. 1832 A.D. – Put first yak on the moon. 1855 A.D. – Succeeded in converting light from a particle into a wave. 1860 A.D. – Succeeded in converting light from a wave into both a wave and a particle simultaneously. 1902 A.D. – Replaced Cartesian space with Einstenian space, rendering gravity obsolete. 1912 A.D. – Succeeded in creating particles smaller than the atom. 1913 A.D. – Succeeded in installing these new particles in matter everywhere. 1952 A.D. – Prevented WWIII 1959 A.D. – Terrorist division totally shut down completely. 1963 A.D. – Prevented WWIII again 1999 A.D. – Prevented the Biblical Apocalypse again And this brings us up to the most recent events at The Corporation. But if you’re not familiar with those… you simply aren't coming often enough.